The phone rings. I answered. Yes allo-
Miss Landmark quiet FJJJHDSSATLLHIUYTF
-Mom, I do not understand what you say
- LKIYDCBKIYRESGJK
My mother cries and cries. I know that someone died. A family friend has terminal cancer. I think it's him.
Mother, speak more slowly, I do not understand ...
-Ghislain Ghislain died
-who?
-Ton sponsor
-WHAT? I scream in my turn, I cry, I breathe jerky, I can not pull myself together before such a statement. I was not expecting it, not at all. The Charming arrives
with a bang with the girl, awakened by my cries in the arms.
My mother told me to calm down, regain my wits. It will remind me ... I'm
in shock, totally. The charming turn on the television, everything is scrambled before my eyes. I do not listen, I do not see, I hear more. Like a zombie, as deprogrammed. The only bits of pictures that I see seem innocuous, tasteless, colorless, with the news that I try to digest. Can we really digest that? No idea. This is my first real grief of someone close. I do not know how to react, how with that dealer. I feel completely helpless.
In my mind, memories passing by in a loop, the sentences he was able to say, his laugh, his voice, his gestures, his expressions. Its so good bread he did, his drawings, exercises, his Bee Gees, his hair carefully combed it, his faith, everything comes to mind. He did not speak so often, but I'll always remember a phrase he told me when I was in love and sorrow that I ran in Matane to be surrounded by my family like I always did when I needed to be comforted: "You stay as long as you want, you're welcome." I had found it so nice to tell me that ... if
attentive ... I think of my godmother, my two cousins whom I consider sisters. Since I 5-10 years (I'm 26 ... Saturday), all the summers, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, I lived with them four. They are only three. It will be a huge void. Irreplaceable place.
This time, I rush in Matane not to be comforted but to comfort, as much as I can, my family.
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